Post by Amy Plass
Did you know that Valentines Day is the most popular day of the year for proposals? But while there are countless online guides to popping the question and picking out the perfect ring, there isn’t much out there about being on the receiving end of a proposal. So today I am going out on a limb to offer my own advice about dropping hints and waiting for him to pop the question.
Have real, candid conversations about marriage. When or how your boyfriend proposes might be a big surprise, but the fact that he is proposing shouldn’t be! If you want marriage to be in your future, talk about it.
Drop hints about the type of proposal you would want by talking about friends’ proposal stories. I told my boyfriend (now husband) about a friend whose fiancé included her family in their proposal, and how amazing I thought that was. That got us talking about what I thought made proposals most romantic, and he listened!
Don’t try to guess when it’s coming. I thought for sure that my boyfriend was going to propose at Thanksgiving. He didn’t. At Christmas again I thought it was coming, so I got myself all worked up, and then disappointed. When he did propose, I had no idea it was coming. It was a total surprise, and I was able to enjoy it!
Appoint a friend who has similar taste in jewelry as your boyfriend’s go-to person for gifts. There is so much pressure on your boyfriend to pick out the perfect engagement ring that you will wear the rest of your life! One year for Valentine’s Day my boyfriend gave me a necklace that was so far from my style, it made for a very awkward valentines day. After that I told him he could run any jewelry choices by my best friend, who has a very similar style and would be able to keep a secret. She helped him pick out several gifts over the years. When the time came for him to pick out an engagement ring, she was able to reassure him it was the perfect choice.
Make sure he knows if it is important to ask your parents permission. It may seem old fashioned to some, but if it is important for him to ask your parents for their blessing, make sure he knows. Tell him once, you won’t have to remind him.
Don’t try to plan the proposal yourself! I made the mistake of trying to help my boyfriend brainstorm ideas for how to propose. Big mistake. Finally, he took me aside and told me that planning the proposal was a big deal to him. He compared it to me wanting to plan the perfect wedding, and explained that this was his time to plan something incredible, and it was something he had looked forward to his entire life. So I backed off, and I’m really glad I did. His proposal was perfect on so many levels, and I will always look back on it with fond memories.