Our production assistant, Patrice, is recently engaged and taking you along on her wedding planning journey.
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So, I’m finally diving into the nitty gritty details of our wedding and all the fun stuff that goes along with it. And as I am surrounded by plans for the Bachelorette party, the timeline for our big day, and guest welcome bags, a weird feeling keeps creeping in. I wouldn’t quite call it dread but maybe uneasiness? You see, I am a planner. I have always preferred planning events/trips/projects to the actual thing. (I know, crazy right?) There’s always so much excitement and anticipation throughout the planning process, but when I get to the actual event, I feel sad that it’s over. When you’re planning, the opportunities are endless – have I checked all of the boxes? Is it going to be fun? How will everyone react to this detail? But during the event I can feel it slipping away… all of the hard work, all of the planning, and I just know I’ll wake up tomorrow with only memories. Can anyone else relate to this?
So you can imagine how I might feel when the wedding planning process is over. Never mind that we will have been planning this event for a year, but I’ve been dreaming of this day for my whole life! And as I started getting into the details of the day, the reality of how big and intense that post-wedding planning blues was going to be started to sink in. But instead of curling up in a ball with dread, I decided it was important to tackle this head-on right now. When I first got engaged, one of my bridesmaids told me firmly, “make sure you enjoy it, because it’s so fun but it will go by so quickly!” And at the time I kind of brushed it off, but here I am wanting to hold onto every moment, every decision. So, here are the things that I am implementing to ensure that I enjoy every minute of my wedding and the entire planning process.
1. Write out your goals
For me, this was not so much what I wanted to accomplish, but more so how I wanted to feel and what was most important to me. I’m in the process of doing this for every part of the wedding. The Bachelorette Party, the Rehearsal Dinner, the Wedding, etc. Doing this has not only helped calm my anxieties surrounding these various events, but it has also made decision making easier by allocating purpose to each choice we make. For example, my goal for the rehearsal dinner is for everyone to get together in a casual setting to feel more comfortable and bond before the main event. Keeping this in mind has helped guide our decisions of where to have it, who to invite, what food to have, etc. Writing out your goals for everything helps you keep the focus on the big picture when you find yourself getting overwhelmed with the little details.
2. Switch perspective
Put yourself in your future self’s shoes. When you look back on your wedding and everything that surrounded it 10 years down the road, what will be most important/memorable? Spoiler alert: it probably won’t be the color of table linens. For me, it will be the email I got from my dad confirming that he booked the venue that simply said “LET’S PARTY!!!!!!!!” Everyone will have something different that makes them look back on this special time and think, “that. was. awesome.” So try to put that in perspective and you will spend more time focusing on what’s most important and less time sweating the small stuff.
3. Be detail-oriented
And if you’re not, hire someone who is (hello, wedding planner! *LINK*) to be detail-oriented for you. My wedding binder *LINK* has been a huge help because I have everything documented and collected in one single place. The more detailed you are in your planning, the more seamless your day will seem and that will allow you (and your guests) to enjoy your wedding that much more! Putting together things like day-of schedules, seating charts, phone number lists, and “what goes where” decor lists will put your mind at ease throughout planning and the main event.
This is the hardest one for me and my bridesmaids will tell you I have not been very good at it so far! What I want to start doing now is breaking down the small details and tasks leading up to our wedding, and delegate them to others. Chances our, by letting go of *just a little* bit of control, you’ll have a lot less on your plate and still have the wedding of your dreams. After all, you chose your wedding party for a reason right? They are your best friends, they know what you like/want and hopefully you have a stable enough relationship to collaborate!
5. Remind yourself why you’re doing this
I know that people say this all the time and it can sound really cheesy, but trust me, it makes all the difference! Occasionally, my fiance and I will just look at each other during dinner or while we’re laying in bed and we’ll just be like “hey, we’re getting married.” And even though it’s so simple it makes me totally giddy every time. Like, how fun is this? I get to marry my best friend!