Our production assistant, Patrice, is recently engaged and taking you along on her wedding planning journey. Check back every other Monday for more real-life wedding planning insights – or follow along here!
I know, one of the most popular pieces of advice you’ll hear during your engagement is “delegate, delegate, delegate!” In fact, I even suggested it in a post (How To Make Sure You Enjoy The Wedding Planning Process). And if you want help, PLEASE delegate away, but if you want to stay at the helm, don’t feel guilty! It’s all about you and what works best for your personality.
I have really struggled with delegating during the wedding planning process. I have friends and family asking me left and right how they can help and I mostly just shrug my shoulders. I know that they love me and want to help make this a less stressful process, but I just can’t get myself to give anything up! Then the other day, I was talking with one of my bridesmaids who has been married for a few years. Totally out of the blue, she echoed exactly what I had been feeling. “Planning a wedding is so hard because you can’t really have help in a lot of ways. I guess that’s what I felt. Everybody wants to help but I wanted to be at the wheel so it was perfect in my eyes.”
So I had a major revelation – If there’s ever a time to create an event exactly to your vision, it’s your wedding day! Most of us have been dreaming of our wedding day in some form or fashion for years, if not our entire lives. By now, you probably have a pretty specific idea of how you’d like it to come together. For some people, that’s having tons of get-togethers with friends and family to brainstorm and delegate, and for others it’s putting in a lot of one-on-one work behind the scenes. Every bride is totally different! I know some brides are completely over the planning process and are more than happy to hand off projects, but I actually really enjoy the wedding planning process. I love picking vendors, setting up the website and registry, planning welcome bags, and procuring decor – and I would be bummed to hand these things over to someone else just because *I felt like I should.*
If you are more of an independent bride, like me, my lovely and ever-so-helpful bridesmaid also offered the perfect way to address those who are constantly asking instead of simply saying “no.” (Because you DO love them and want them to be involved somehow!) She made a list of little things that inevitably come up as your approach the big day such as picking up tuxes, packing favors, or bringing menus. She then assigned each of these more menial tasks to her friends and family who were eager to help. (Confession – time, I was definitely one of those people!) This helps keep the nagging at bay because they know you have something planned for them and bonus – it’s a great way to get ahead on the last-minute stuff!
Keep in mind also, that delegating tasks to friends and family is completely different than partnering with a wedding planner or day-of-coordinator. Adding an experienced professional to your “wedding day planning squad” is ALWAYS a good idea. Not only will they be able to fill in a lot of the blanks such as “do I have to send save the dates?” or “how the heck am I supposed to do a seating chart for 150 people?”, they also probably have an in with tons of local vendors. They have done this dozens of times in a professional setting and will make your entire event a seamless and enjoyable affair. Plus, it can become a part of your response. “Actually, I hired a GREAT wedding planner and she is totally handling all of the little details!”
Now, if at any point you find yourself struggling or overwhelmed, please DO ask for help! Wedding planning doesn’t have to be stressful and if you can/want to take some of the burden off yourself at any time, there are probably dozens of eager supporters ready to jump in.