One of the most frequently voiced complaints about wedding planning we hear is how difficult managing a guest list can be. Who gets invited, who doesn't, who gets a plus one and how do you tell Aunt Bertha she can't bring the 6 friends she penciled in on her RSVP card? It's no joke and the task can cause a couple tons of stress and anxiety. So we're sharing a few tips to help make the experience slightly less nerve wracking!
1. First, outline your 'duh' invites. This is immediate family, and anyone that you absolutely can not possibly imagine having your big day without. Then, decide how many people overall you want to invite. If your venue has a max capacity of 150 and your 'duh' list is 75, that gives you 75 more seats to fill. Work outward from your duh list-- other people you'd really like there, close friends, less-close friends, co-workers, etc.
2. Don't overinvite and assume people will RSVP no! Seriously, it doesn't matter if you 110%, without a doubt KNOW your aunt isn't coming. Don't send more invites than you have seats. Just don't. It'll end in trouble.
3. Remember you can give some people a plus one and not others. It's okay to give your cousin a plus one if they've been dating for 5 years and you're close friends with their partner. Doing this doesn't mean you also have to give your friend who just found a new boy toy 5 weeks ago a plus one also. Take each case individually.
4. Make it REALLY clear who you're inviting on the RSVP cards. Etiquette dictates whomever the invite is addressed to is invited. So, if you address it to 'The Smith Family' that includes children, as opposed to 'Mr & Mrs Smith', which only invites the couple. However, plenty of people will disregard this and write in whatever they want on their RSVP card. Then you're stuck with the sticky situation of figuring out how to let Mr & Mrs Smith know this is an adults only event.
Some ways to help eliminate this are focusing on your RSVP card wording. Making a note like 'We've reserved 2 seats for you! Please let us know if you'll both be able to make it to our big day by checking the box below' or 'Please note, due to venue capacity restrictions, please only RSVP for the names requested' or even writing in their names on the RSVP card yourself can all help tamp down the write in dilemma.
5. If people *really* don't get it...it's okay to call or text and politely let them know as much as you'd love for them to be able to bring their best friend and new girlfriend, you can only extend the invitation to them. It can be an awkward conversation at first, but you're in the right.
6. Don't get peer pressured. Tons of people will assume they're getting invited or say 'I can't wait to come to your wedding!' Cue the record scratch because you weren't actually planning on inviting them....eek. Don't feel pressured! Just let them know you appreciate their excitement but are keeping the soiree intimate and hope you can celebrate together at drinks and apps next month.
7. Ask your mom to slow her roll. Parents often want to make sure that you know it's *so* important their old work friend is invited, or their distant third cousin who just LOVED getting your baby pictures a decade ago can make it. Kindly let your parents know that you want to keep your guest list to people that are really special and important to you and your fiancÃ©, and in order to make sure there's room for everyone, said third cousin probably won't get an invite. They can send them a picture after the event!
Looking for more planning tips? Find them here!